i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
