This girl is more easily done than said...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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