Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
