She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
