Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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