God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
