Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
