So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
