She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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