ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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