Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
