The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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