This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
