what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
