Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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