I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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