How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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