I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i permit you to call me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
