Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
