We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
