i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
