My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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