i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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