I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
