Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
