I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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