I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We left the knife in your bed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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