forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he thought i was a dude.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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