we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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