there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize