you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
