so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
handjob tips. give me some.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
