So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
