just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
