He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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