last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize