there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
