If you die in college, do you die in real life?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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