chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize