Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have tasted many bathrooms
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
