Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Alive.
So much puke
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize