dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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