How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
