help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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