how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
