All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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