you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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