I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
