Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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