Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
