ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
