So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
