At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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