She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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