Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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