Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this just has baby written all over it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Someone shattered a urinal.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
