My balls are so social today.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
