So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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