You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
