Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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