I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Randomize
