So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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