Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
