I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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