that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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