I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
