But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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